Yesterday was one of those days where I felt like the walls were closing in on me. We are just an ordinary family. We are not the Duggar's. I always joke with Matt and say, "If only we were more like Michelle & Jim Bob." :) But we aren't. I am a stay-at-home mom and Matt works from home, so we get a lot of great family time together. That also means we have a lot of opportunities to get under each other's skin. Matt & I are good parents and we have a good marriage (for the most part). We love our children immensely. We try really hard to keep Christ at the center of all we do and we try to model Him for our kids as best as we can... But you know how life is. It's HARD to be a parent. I feel like I am constantly on guard against the world and all the lies it tries to throw at my family, not to mention my own frailities. My point is, I see our shortcomings. I know where we are weak and so does the enemy. The attack on me came in many forms yesterday: information from an email about older child adoption, questions from well-intended family members, our own short-tempers, (slow business...grumpy hubby)... On and on it went. I start to worry that Matt and I won't be able to handle the added stresses properly that adoption brings. I know that all families feel this way, but I was especially concerned yesterday. I texted my BFF (Tracy) and she spoke truth to me instantly. I knew what she would say. I just needed to hear it from her. Then I woke up to more encouraging words on my blog from Aus.
The issue is, we are jumping into this adoption with our hearts wide open. We are "sitting ducks" in the biggest way. I am scared of the unknowns. But if we knew the unknowns now, the Lord knows we (probably) wouldn't go through with it. We wouldn't do most of the things we do if we knew ahead of time how callenging the journey would be.
Matt sent me an "I Am Second" clip today of a guy named John Rivers. He owns our favorite bar-b-q restaurant in Orlando, named "4Rivers". He spoke right to me. I just love how God does that. You can watch it right here:
Friday, December 2, 2011
2 comments:
I love feedback from my bloggy friends, so comment away and I'll visit your blog too! However, if you're just lurking anonymously and leaving snarky remarks, this isn't the blog for you. My heart is always to reflect the love of Jesus and be a source of encouragement to others. If anything you read here gives you a check in your spirit, please feel free to lovingly disagree with me in grace:)
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Morning Rebecca - I don't know that I meant to be supportive - just honest - but hey, the words were honest, I just try to call them like I see them. If that turned out to be supportive - groovy!
ReplyDeletehugs - have a great weekend -
aus and co.
Thank you for the sweet comment on my blog the other day. It's been harder to ever to keep up with others lately; small boys and big girl don't give me much slack! But, while you wait, it's easy to let fears step in; once they are home, you just put your head down and march forward...but waiting....gives you time to worry about all the unknowns. Yes, there will be trials with bringing this child home...but you are prepared. I wish I could tell you it's going to be all sweetness and roses, but you know it's likely not going to be. You know to be on guard. You know Who to seek your support from. I hope so much for speedy paperwork for you...she is waiting too. Fears must surely be creaping into her everyday life. Prayers for peace on both sides of the ocean.
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