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| Ling Ling |
I got on Reece's Rainbow last Wednesday and I found this wee one. It struck me because she had a February birthday (all of our girls do) and no heart condition. Not to mention... look at that cherub face. She had that same familiar look about her that Ashlyn did to me the first time I saw her. It was as if I knew her already. I also loved the description of her personality. I showed her picture to Matt and he thought she was cute.
The next night I pulled it up again and something just clicked in my head. I thought I remembered reading on another blog that someone added a second adoption at the time of dossier submission. That's exactly where we are. The pieces to the puzzle were coming together so quickly and everything just made perfect sense.
We have the desire to adopt again; down syndrome. Why not just go ahead and do it now? We will save so much time and money by doing it this way.
So many things going through our heads tonight. We have prayed and prayed and prayed and talked to many mentors, friends, and family members. We have had no push back from anyone. This wasn't a shock to any of them, including our agency. Mallory (SW) told me today that she has no hesitations whatsoever about our decision. That is HUGE to me. She is the expert and she is very logical. She would tell us if she thought we were crazy, and believe me we have asked.
I have a huge peace about it and I think that's what's causing me concern. Shouldn't I be afraid? Shouldn't I be freaking out? This is huge and we don't even know what it's going to be like with Ashlyn yet. She is weighing heavily on my mind. Is this good for her? Will it benefit her? Will it detract from our bonding with her? Will my other kids feel neglected? Will we regret this?
Then I look at her face and I think how could we sense the calling and say no? How could we not take a chance? We WANT TO DO THIS. We don't feel obligated at all. We are so excited. Our kids are excited... Well, all but Alex, but he'll come around. He's grumpy and tired from basketball camp.
I need to hear from some of the BTDT parents who've brought two home at a time. How does that work? What does it look like? It must work, because almost every single family on my sidebar has done it. Some of them have done it numerous times.
My brain is fried.
I'm going to bed:)
Blessings,
Rebecca
We have not brought home 2 at once, just all really close together. We've done some things that are sometimes frowned upon (adopting out of birth order, close together, artificial twinning). I think you will get lots of differing opinions from the BTDT, but my advice is listen to what God is saying. It may not make sense here, but He knows. ;)
ReplyDeleteI think it is a wonderful and beautiful thing! and the fact that you have such peace about it is totally the peace of the Lord, dont let the enemy tell you otherwise! She is adorable!
ReplyDeleteIt's harder x2. That's all I can say about two at once. And it has nothing to do with DS. DS is not the hard part. It's healing the hearts of new kiddos x2, esp. one who is older, on top of your current life responsibilities. But, you can only trust what you and your husband are hearing Him say. He certainly didn't say anything was going to be easy and I know you are ready for hard. Can you be ready for harder? That's the tough question to ask yourselves.
ReplyDeleteIf you are looking for push back I could introduce you to my in-laws - but I dont' think you'll get it from the adoptive community!
ReplyDeleteWe're not 2x BTDT - but have artificial twins twice - not by desire but by His design. In the first case they were bio but Marie wasn't supposed to be able to have any more - and would end up having 2...I see God's hand in that. In the second case the kids are almost 2 years apart but one was "grossly delayed" (at 2 she hadn't crawled) and the 2nd was "grossly advanced" (if there is such a thing!).
We (our adoptive community) always talks about "what your heart is saying". Good advice. All very 'metaphysical' - what is in your heart is almost always beyond your understanding and something that you accept in faith. Why do you love your DH or you kids or your parents or your friends? How can you have feelings for a child you have never met? You get the idea.
You hear your heart. What you hear there is put there by something greater than yourself. It's put there by our Father.
You and your DH listen to your hearts. You check with your support systems and the human "powers that are", those in the system that have control of our adoption processes. They concur. Well then - Godspeed.
No one will think any less of you if you only adopt one child at a time. Make that choice that is best for you and your family - but there is something to be said about the peace that you feel. So I'd simply ask a couple questions. Turn the tables on yourself for a minute if you will...
For the next few hours would you fix in your mind that your decision is to NOT adopt the second child? How does your heart feel? What if Ling Ling ends up becoming unavailable for your family? Does that change your feelings? Does that lessen the strength of your call?
I have a feeling I know what the answers are to those questions. So go ahead and do what makes the heart feel right - those feelings come from beyond yourself - because we ARE greater than the sum of our parts!
hugs - prayers - and joy here - great joy!
aus and co.
Oh goodness Rebecca I just KNEW when you posted the prayer request blog that this was what was on your heart.
ReplyDeleteI have no adive but am absolutely thrilled for your family. Listening to God may be hard but the results are always in his glory.
Lots of prayers, sister!
Wow! I'm happy for you! I will pray!
ReplyDeleteOh dear Rebecca!!!!!! I am just thrilled for you and your family and for this sweet pea!!!!! I think it is just wonderful and know that the Lord will just continue to open those doors for you! I have a great friend who just got home this winter with 2 girls. I know she would love to talk to you. Email me and I will send you her email address! SO SO SO happy for ya sweet Rebecca!
ReplyDeleteOh, I am SO excited that this precious little one will have a family! I believe He led you to her. Here is a great post from one of my favorite bloggers. She & her hubby have adopted 8 children from China and are getting ready to bring 2 more home!
ReplyDeletehttp://theresnoplacelikehome-family.blogspot.com/2012/06/dual-adoption.html
I'll keep your family in my prayers. Hugs ~ Jo
I think it's harder and easier. It's harder in the same sense that it would be harder to have twins instead of just one baby at a time. But I actually think it's better to adopt 2 or more kids from the same area so they have someone else who is "like" them. You know what I mean? Of course, many, many single adoptions have occured and have been just fine. I just think it's great for the adoptee to have someone who understands them on a level we can't.
ReplyDeleteAll in all, it doesn't matter what any of us think. It's all about God and what He wants! Which is obviously why your adopting in the first place. So congrats!