Pruning... Part 3

A few years ago I got an idea after seeing this cute little gal (who ended up becoming a friend) at church drive up in her pink Caddy every Sunday. I thought... If she can do it, why can't I? I mean I had already been using the popular skincare line for years and loved it. The problem? I'm not at all a salesperson. Not. At. All. Just the thought of it sends me into panic mode:)

My goal was to help suppliment our income to support this lifestyle that we had drunkenly wandered into. I thought that if I could earn a free car, I could sell mine (it was paid for) and we'd be closer to putting the hardwood floors and pool in our new home. Good idea, right? We all thought so.

So I became a consultant and bought the whole sha-bang. On credit, of course. Oh, I still can't believe it! What were we thinking?! We even prayed about it and really believed that this was the answer to our problems. I Put the kids in school and poured all of my time and recources into this full-time job, that supposedly can be done with little ones in tow. I had one director say to me, "Oh yes, It's a piece of cake! I just meet my clients at the Chik-fil-A and we talk skincare while the kids play!" It all sounded too good to be true, and as it so often is... it was.

But I was excited to have something of my own and I was off to a really great start. I was booking skincare classes left and right and signed my first recruit that very first night. I was making decent money & It felt really good. But I was on the phone constantly & gone alot, especially in the evenings. It started to take a toll on our family and things were only going to get busier if I wanted to become a director... which was the goal. I signed up to go to the skin care convention, which was really weird. I had never been anywhere without Matt and the kids except for the ladies retreats at church. Flying across the country with thousands of women I didn't know was an intimidating thought. But I decided to go for it, with Matt's blessing. However, on the way to the airport that morning, he told me we needed to talk when I got back. He was worried about the amount of time that was needed to make this job prosperous and how it would eventually take it's toll on our family life. I told him I had been thinking the same thing. As I got out of the car that morning, all I wanted to do was turn around and go home. What was I doing??? But I got in the bag check line with my roommate anyway and we got bumped into first class! As it turns out, the whole plane was full of ladies like me and the gal sitting next to me just so happened to be a director for this skin care line. We got to talking and she set me straight pretty much from the word go. I told her about my family and that I was so happy to have found a job that I can do and still be a good mom. She shared her journey with me and told me of the sacrifice her children and husband had made for her career. She was really honest with me and I was so appreciative of her for that. As I got off the plane that morning, my roomie (who sat across the isle solo) was rested and ready to go, while I was feeling really awful inside. Not a good way to start off the week. These ladies are really excited about their businesses and one little lemon in the mix can make the entire group turn sour. There's a lot of pressure to be positive. And if you're not? Fake it. So that's what I did... For like 5 days or something. I can't remember how long we were there, but it felt like forever and I am not good at the faking it thing. I wear my emotions pretty much on my sleeve. I just can't help it. But I did my very best. By the end of the trip I was emotionally spent. (Did I mention I am an intovert?) I had spent a good portion of my time listening to my roommates marital struggles and then the other portion of the time walking around in high heels, smiling, and sitting through HOURS upon HOURS of awards while thousands of women paraded across the stage for their 10 seconds in the spot-light. All in the name of skin care.

It hit me as I sat in that arena that last morning... The only thing worthy of this much of my adoration is You, Lord. A decision was made in my heart that day. A decision to get fired up for eternal things. Can you glorify God selling skin care? Sure you can. But I just knew that wasn't where He was going to use me.

I landed back home after a loooong flight, got off the plane in tears, hugged my family and quit. Sent all of my product back and haven't regretted it for one second.

That's when we decided to make some changes.

We calculated it all up and discovered we were $120,000.00 in debt. That's right. You did not misunderstand me.

It was time to get serious.

Serious would be an understatemant, actually. We got radical. Dave Ramsey, radical! We dove in head first and didn't come up until every last bit of debt was paid off. We went bare bones, y'all. Got rid of every single montly payment we had, except the mortgage and quit eating out. We pulled the kids out of private school and homeschooled them. We sold anything that wasn't moving or tied down. We even went down to one vehicle. "Rice and beans, ya'll... rice and beans". Actually, for us it was more like eggs and toast:)

It took us 22 months.

Those were some of our best times. There is nothing like being totally dependent on the Lord for your daily bread. I remember one night, we were all craving ice cream. We had 2 bogo coupons for Burger King ice cream cones. So we went couch diving. We pulled up all the cushions and dug through the junk drawer and came up with enough change to go through the drive through and get 5 ice cream cones. We were like kids! So happy:)

During this time the Lord provided some really awesome blessings for us. The biggest one was Averleigh. She is our little miracle "Berger baby" and proof that even when times are tough, God is always good and He is always faithful and He is the giver of every good gift and He wants to bless us.

As I sit here at my computer, reflecting on these past 5 years that we've been in this home, I am moved beyond words. He keeps on pruning and pruning and pruning. But I am now to the point where it doesn't hurt quite so much. I'm always looking out for areas in my life that still need pruning.  We all have our blind spots. Just yesterday Matt and I were talking about how good it is to have people in your life who you can trust to lovingly and selflessly tell you what those blind spots are.

I know that one of mine is lack of grace. "Love" is my word of the year and boy, has it been a year. It's proven to be quite a challenge to love & have grace for some of the people in my life this year. I think more people have gotten on my nerves this year than any other time in my entire life. Seriously. It's almost uncanny. So much of this has to do with rasing children in a fallen world.

I want to close by saying that we are not home yet.

This is not where we belong.

So what on earth are we living for? Where I spend my time and money... That's what I'm living for.

I think alot about storing up my treasures in heaven, and what does that really mean anyway???

Does it mean that we shouldn't purchase hardwood floors and a pool and give it all to missions or even go into full-time missions?

I don't know. I really don't.

I know that we have a big hole in our family room carpet that's been there for 5 years. I know that these nasty stained carpets have been cleaned more times than I can count and that the summers would be so much easier with a (modest) pool in the back yard. Heck, we are willing to forego the hardwoods and settle for laminate!

There is so much work to be done ya'll. I heard a clip on the radio the other day. The gentleman shared that he doubts that when he's standing before the Lord that the Lord will ever say to him, "Gosh, so-in-so, I sure do wish you'd spent more of your money on yourself."

There are children who are in desperate need of a family. Millions of them. There are people right in my own community without homes to live in. There are people dying all over the world tonight from starvation...

God is moving in the hearts of His people. Everywhere I go people are fostering or adopting children domestically and all across the planet. And sacrificially reaching out to help those in need. But is it really a sacrifice? That's my big question. If giving is better than getting, how is that really a sacrifice?


As I think about all of the struggles going on in peoples lives around me, and many of those struggles are related to adoption or parenthood, I can only determine that this is all part of the plan. If pruning is necessary to produce more better fruit and it almost always does produce more better fruit, then why do we doubt the struggle?


When Ashlyn & Abby get home and the fairy tale becomes a reality, I need to have something to hold on to. Sadly, many people go through the struggle alone. My hope is in the One who has given us these children to raise. Parenting has proven to be the biggest pruning of my life and I believe it has only just begun. We are ready. We are excited. We are hopeful... But no matter what the outcome, we will lean in tight under His mighty arm and we will remember all that He has done to show us...

"This is the way. Walk in it."

Loving the journey,
Rebecca