Pruning...

Years ago I read a book by Bruce Wilkinson called, "Secrets of the Vine". It was during a period of great spiritual growth in my life. I read that tiny little book and asked God to prune me back in order to produce more better fruit for His glory. It was painful and scary, yet so very GOOD. Do not ask God to prune you back unless you're serious because He will absolutely answer that prayer. It is His deepest desire that we would put off the things that entangle us and run with great endurance and courage toward the things that bring Him glory.

Unfortunately, there is very little we can do for the Kingdom when our eyes are on material things. Even though we have had a miraculous year in regards to our 2 new children, I have found myself in a "funk" of sorts. I asked the Lord to prune me back again a while ago and it hit me today that that's just what He's doing... and it's been HARD.  Matt and I have found ourselves in a place that we haven't been in before. Business  has been so hard and extremely elusive. He has never had a year like this before. There are household things that need to be addressed as well as medical things and we have not been able to tackle any of it. Just when we think we've made huge progress in the medical areas, we are right back at square 1. I won't even burden you with hearing the story of our carpet fiasco... Then our yearly beach trip got jerked out from under us. Because of distructive tennants, our sweet friends who rent their condo to us every summer (for the past 7 years) for a steal, got the rule book slapped down in front of them, which says that there can never be more than 6 people staying in their unit per night. We have 8.

So, I have been feeling very sorry for myself these past few days. All I want to do is pack it up and head to my beach. I want to feel the sand between my toes and smell the sea breeze and listen to the sound of the waves as they crash along the shore...

Have you ever felt this way before?

Of all the summers, I needed my beach this year the most and I can't have it. It stinks... It's not fair.

I think that is what has been getting me down the most. My husband works so hard. He pours his heart and soul into serving his clients and yet things have happened to him this year that are plain UNFAIR and totally out of his control. Losing the condo was totally out of our control. The carpet fiasco was totally out of our control. The medical hang-ups are totally out of our control.

I have had a hard time going to the Lord with my burdens because I have so much to be thankful for. We are healthy, we have food on the table, a clean home with air-conditioning to live in, a great church, wonderful family and friends... How much more could a person ask for, right? I think of the people in other parts of the world living in cardboard huts with dirt floors and no food and I am so ashamed... What is the Lord trying to teach us? What does He want for us to do? Go? Where? Stay? What? How?

Today while I was pouring my heart out to my BFF, seeking her wisdom, she gave me just what I needed... The Psalms...

Psalm 31 is what I read today and it was salve to my aching heart.

"I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because You have seen my affliction; You have known the troubles of my soul..." Psalm 31:7

"But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord, I say, 'You are my God'. My times are in Your hands." Psalms 31:14-15

"Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who hope in the Lord." Psalm 31:24

Blessings,
Rebecca