A Rough Draft (Part 2)...

UPDATE: We received our immigration approval letters today. YAY! One step closer!
Still no word from Ladybugs-N-Love:( I will assume that no news means...no news.

As for our travel plans... As of today, we are planning to take Alex and Ansley (our two eldest) with us to China. (Hopefully sometime this fall) That means we will be leaving Aidan and Averleigh behind. My heart has been torn about this. I wish we could all go, but realistically, taking a 7 and 2&1/2 -year-old on a forever long flight to a foreign country where they will sit in appointments and climb the walls just turns me off. I just hate leaving them out of the experience of seeing where Ashlyn is from and being with us to meet her for the first time. I guess we could always take them back someday. I also hate the idea of being so far away from them for so long. Then the whole, "who's going to watch them" thing... Right now we don't know. We do have family here, but we will just have to see... These plans could completely change if the finances do not allow us to take the oldest 2.

We decided last week that in order to save money and simplify our lives, we are bringing 2 of the 3 home to homeschool next fall. They are all very happy about that. I know it seems like the easier thing to do with a new child coming home would be to keep them all in traditional school so that we can focus on her. But we have really thought about this and prayed for clear direction and this is what we feel is best. We have had some moments this year of frustration over the busyness that having 3 kids in private school brings to our lives. Homework, money, studying for tests, money, field trips, money, extra activities, money... You get the point. Private schools are not only expensive, but they are time consuming. We LOVE their school. It is like "Little House on the Prairie". It's the sweetest, most gracious school around, but we have a large, growing family. And honestly, although homeschooling is not easy, it's on our terms. We do as much or as little as we like on a day to day basis. I'm not at the mercy of someone else's lesson plans and schedule. And besides having to purchase curriculum, it's free. We also feel like this might be good for Ashlyn. She may adapt quicker having the kids here with her all day. I know they learn so much from the other kids in the home. I'm hoping it will help with the bonding process.

As soon as we get home we will be scheduling doctors appointments for her. I am certain there will be surgeries necessary and lots of dental work and speech therapy and counseling. From all that I've read, it's best to do these things right away.

As far as "schooling" Ashlyn, the first thing we want to do is just spend time together as a family. We may just hang low for a while depending on how the bonding process is going. I will find an English teacher to help with language, but as for academics, we plan on taking it slow. We have lots of time for that. We feel no rush in getting her "caught up". We will give her as many opportunities as we feel necessary to do any schoolwork she is capable of, but we don't want to stress her out. So, we will take baby steps. It'll be great having Aidan and Ansley home because Ashlyn can follow along with whatever they are doing. Hopefully that will help me figure out what her level of academic understanding is.

The very most important thing to us is communicating to her that God has great plans for her life. That she is His child. That He created her and He loves her. We want to tell her all about Him and what He has done to get her here. This is the only thing that really matters. She has to know that she is not random. That her story is part of a bigger picture. That there is a great hope and a future for her through Jesus Christ. For us, adoption is not about filling a void in our lives. Although I realize now how much we need it. It is about redemption. And we are called to be His hands and feet. Adoption has changed us. I can't even believe how it's changed us. And we've only just begun.

We are not ignorant of the challenges that come with adoption. Older child adoption in particular. We realize that we are doing this all wrong, according to the statistics. And I am a statistics fanatic. I really like knowing where my boundaries are. But I will just say this about that: God is bigger than statistics. He has told us what to do and He has not given us the rest of the story. We do not know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future. I am reading another really great book right now called, "Why Christian Kids Rebel", by Tim Kimmel. He says:

"Are you a believer in Jesus Christ? If so, do you realize that, technically, followers of Jesus really shouldn't be afraid of much of anything?... What did Jesus mean when He said, "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (Jn. 16:33) Should we be concerned? Of course. But frightened? No. Not really."

He is talking about believers who are afraid of "the big, bad world" and wanting to shelter their kids from it, but I read that and applied it to any fear.

I am gleaning so much from other people's experiences and what I've come to terms with is this...
God has chosen us to be adoptive parents. It's a special calling. He has pulled us aside and said, "I've got something special for you. It's a great reward. It will not look like you think it should. That is ok. My ways are not your ways. Trust in Me. Don't look aside to the right or the left. Keep your eyes on Me. I will be with you. I will never leave you. Trust Me with the outcome no matter what."

It will be a pruning of our hearts for sure. Will it be painful. Pruning almost always is. Will there be sacrifice? Of course. But with pruning, comes more better fruit. That's what I'm holding out for; more better fruit. Not just for me and Matt, but for our children and for Ashlyn.

Blessings,
Rebecca