So here's a glimpse into my thoughts lately as it pertains to what I allow my children to read, listen to on the radio, and watch on TV...
A while back Ansley asked me if she could download the "One Direction" CD because ALL her friends were listening to them. Keep in mind that Ansley is 11 and homeschooled and all of her friends are from Christian homes. It's not that she's not allowed to have non-christian friends, but she's 11 and she's friends with my friends kids and I mostly hang out with Christian women... Just to clear that up:)
So when she asked to download the One Direction CD I suggested we pull up the lyrics and take a look. Their cutesie little song, "What Makes You Beautiful" gives off the impression that the guy is into the girl for her heart... When you pull up the lyrics, you discover that's not really the case. Songs sound much more grungy when you read the lyrics without the pretty music to back it up. We both decided (in spite of her dismay) that those songs were not characteristic of God's intentions for true love and afterall, she is ONLY 11. She's not dating yet or courting for marriage anytime soon, so for her to be singing along with those lyrics would be, in my personal opinion, inappropriate.
About a year ago Ansley asked me if she could read "The Hunger Games" with her sweet little BFF. I had not read the book. It's not my style. I'm not into "those types of books". They rub me the wrong way, spiritually speaking. So, it's not just a matter of personal taste, but of spiritual conviction.
When she asked if she could read it, I lovingly replied, "no". When she asked why, I didn't really have a good answer and I admitted that. I remember praying about it and asking the Lord to help me explain it to her in a way that she could grasp and trust.
Almost instantly this is what popped in my head...
"Finally, brethren (that's us), whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."
~Philippians 4:8
*This post posted without me realizing it:) I started writing about some things last night and went to bed with an unfinished post. I woke up this morning to a portion of my post already published... so weird. I guess maybe that's all I was suppose to say on this topic. Maybe the Lord was telling me to shut up already and get off my soapbox:)
So I'll end with a question...
Thoughts on Taylor Swift?
Whadaya think?
In light of Philippians 4:8, do you think she's a good role model for young girls? Would you allow your 11-year-old (or even younger) to listen to her music or attend her concert?
I ask these things because just recently Taylor was here in concert and Ansley was crushed that her friends, and even some younger girls (at church) had tickets to the show and were going. We stayed up late one night talking about how it's not always easy when you're "the only one".
I'd like to hear your take on this subject...
Blessings,
Rebecca
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
12 comments:
I love feedback from my bloggy friends, so comment away and I'll visit your blog too! However, if you're just lurking anonymously and leaving snarky remarks, this isn't the blog for you. My heart is always to reflect the love of Jesus and be a source of encouragement to others. If anything you read here gives you a check in your spirit, please feel free to lovingly disagree with me in grace:)
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We are to be in the world...not of the world. It's hard to combat the culture, but good for you for keeping on top of it and offering your daughter Biblical reasons! I hear "hunger games," and think...hunger is NOT a game. It's real! Thanks for the good example!
ReplyDeleteI think your Phil. verse sums it up well. There is a lot of talent out there in terms of musicians, actors, authors, etc., but if they don't sing, act, or write in a way that honors God, we don't participate. As our kids get older, it gets more challenging to keep up with it all, but God's Word is always true and right...you can't go wrong there!
ReplyDeletefirstly, hi! I found your blog by accident a few months ago and sort of fell in love with your story. I am a very Christian, God loving teenager myself. Having said that, I do listen to Taylor swift. I think she is a fairly decent role model. As far as I know, none of her songs are graphic, offensive or vulgar. I just listen to her because I enjoy her music. "Best Day", "Fifteen", "Fearless", "love story", and "we are never getting back together" are some of my favorite songs. I applaud you for being selective on what your children listen to. But on the same note, I feel that you should not discard a band because of one song.
ReplyDelete... (it cut me off. Apparently google thinks I ramble :) ) perhaps purchase one song, one that you and your daughter both agree on? (thats what my family does, and everyon ae is happy at the end.of the day) Again, I love your blog! And sorry for the rambling!
ReplyDeleteThere are lyrics I have said no to, just like now I no longer put Chinese music on Olivia's ipod nano since I don't have any idea what it is saying. I like Taylor Swift myself and have her music on my iphone. I don't find it offensive and all my girls like her as well. In Taylor I see a young girl who was bullied in school and was the odd girl. Now those bullies see "that girl" rise to the top. One of my avorite songs is Mean, since I was bullied as a child and also have had a child bullied (in a private Christian school..no place is perfect). I grew up listening to Three Dog Night, Black Sabbath, The Doobie Brothers, etc. and survived it all. It never occurred to me then or now that words in a song defined me as a person, it is usually as much about the beat of the music. Just my two cents:-)
ReplyDeleteMorning Rebecca - I couldn't quote a taylor swift song if I had to - nor could I pick her out of a line up! I'm old I guess...but let me say it this way....
ReplyDeleteOur tweenage daughter is constantly trying to get ahold of magazines like 17 etc...and no...she can't have them...
Not because we "hide" from the world - but because anything that "sexualized" young women, while that seems to be what the "world wants", is not necessarily correct!
Kids just plain need a chance to be kids, and there will be time enough for them to "come into themselves" as they get older.
And just maybe if parents did the "parenting thing" for a few years "longer" than the world thinks they should - our world would be a happier and safer place!
Continue in a like and similar fashion - talk (real talk - not chatter) - explain good values and WHY they are good values and kids will end up with a solid foundation with which they can live rich and happy lives!
hugs - aus and co.
Our older boys are 8 and 5 so we're not quite to the tween stage that you are in right now, but we have begun to deal with what's appropriate and not for music/movies/tv/etc. They both have i-pods and we control what music gets loaded on them but we do let them have variety. Chris Tomlin and Toby Mac are on playlists right next to Lady Antebellum and Taylor Swift. We talk with them about the music they listen to because we don't want to give them a blanket "no" to everything they ask.
ReplyDeleteI have become increasingly convicted that our role is to prepare them to make wise choices once they get older and leave our home. I want to protect their innocence as long as possible while still allowing them to branch out and enjoy privileges as they get older. It's a hard balance, but I desperately don't want them to become "those kids" who can't make a decision on their own and flounder when they become teens or young adults. The verse you highlighted is a great measuring stick.
I was not raised as a Christian, but found myself in a Church of Christ about 3 years ago and am now a conservative Christian. While I do not have children, I do work with them practically every day. It shocks and saddens me when students at work (k-5th grade)make references to movies I, as a 19 year old, have chosen not to watch for inappropriate content. Personally, one of my struggles has been choosing what to watch/listen to/read since I became a Christian. I've had moments when I think "Watching this will not hurt me", but it gets into my mind and really does intensify struggles. I wish so much I had been raised in a Christian home and that my parents regulated the content I was exposed to.. I have already decided that when I have my own home (and not just a college dorm.) I will not have a television, and when I have kids, I will not listen to the radio at all. Now, I change the station when something I'm not ok with comes on.
ReplyDeleteI hope and pray that as I am on this road to becoming a teacher that my example (even working in after school care, now.) will encourage children to pay more attention.That when they ask if I've seen a movie like "Ted" and I say no and they ask why, that my response will weigh on their little minds.
Regarding Taylor Swift, I don't particulalrly think her music is bad... But I wouldn't want her to my daughter's example. Everything surrounding her is relationship focused and I know at least one of her songs refrences to living with a guy before marriage, and that is not what I would ever want my daughter's focus to be.
I think it's ultimately up to you. Maybe listen to her music, read the lyrics, research who she is.
Someone above posted she was bullied...She happened to go to a high school near my hometown. I know many people who went to school with her and said she was never bullied...but the bully herself. (and that she is incredibly arrogant...). Of course, that could be untrue, so like I said, you could just do a whole lot of research first. ;)
I just asked my 15 year old daughter if she thought Taylor Swift was a good role model for an 11 year old girl and she said no. She said her songs are about breakups and that she uses guys constantly, dating, breaking up with them and then writing songs about them.
ReplyDeleteThe real world is what it is and we can't protect them from every single things. The wildest girls I saw in college were the ones who were kept in a bubble and never allowed to listen or be exposed to anything. I had friends that went to private Christian colleges and when I visited I was floored at the major parties that went on in the dorm with drinking. I was at a public university and we would have never considered that type of behavior. I learned early on that a "Christian" label, does not make it a perfect place. I think we as parents have to find a balance and the most important thing is to keep the communication open, so they discuss whatever the situation is with us (hopefully). That doesn't mean by any means that everything goes. Our kids have to use the computer at the kitchen table in plain view and only one of the 4 even has a phone and that is because of extra activities after school, which led to the need for the phone. There are so many worse things than Taylor Swift, so if my piano player wants to learn to play one of her songs, I don't really care. They are just songs and I doubt she uses anyone, anymore than they use her to get in the news by being seen with her. It is a hard life to be that young and that famous. I would not want it for my children by any means. I'm an older mom than most and have spent 35 years in the Criminal Justice field working with juveniles and adults. If the worst thing my kids ever want to listen to is Taylor Swift, I will feel blessed. In the end, we all have to make our own decisions and pray that the Christian life we provide for them and the lessons will keep them grounded and on the right path.
ReplyDeleteCan I just say how much I admire you???? :) This has all been on my mind lately too...but more of the worldly influence with clothing (or lack of), early dating, etc. I guess b/c we mostly listen to Christian radio, songs are not a huge concern yet. Maybe because she's only 7. Anyway, I know it's coming. I LOVE that you posted this verse...I'm starting to be conscious of a lot more that she is taking in. You should read the book "5 Conversations To Have With Your Daughter" (they have one for sons too).....AMAZING stuff to think about. A big one is body image and what is being shown so much on TV and in magazines. Oh, I wish we could protect them from all this stuff. But at the same time you do want to teach them to make wise decisions too...I too saw some wild ones in a private Christian college. Anyway, I haven't been any help. Just admire you and glad you posted this! :)
ReplyDeleteI'd like to say Taylor is not allowed in our home, but the reality is that none of my kids have asked to have her on their iPods. our 13 yo says, "all her songs areabout boys and why waste your childhood with boys when you can't get married before 18 anyway?" I look at it this way, teach them the right ways of the Lord and they will make good decisions according to their teaching. This verse resonates with me...
ReplyDeleteRomans 12:2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing and perfect will.