I'm Still Here...

Ashlyn's Bible notebook that she took notes in at her church in China:)

 

Psalm 1:1-3

She finally agreed to nail polish:) Earrings next!

The Oakland Nature Preserve

Family outing to the Oakland Nature Preserve; Martin Luther King Jr. Day

I thought I'd talk a little bit about my kids... Since I don't do that very much here:) Hee Hee...

We continue to have a hard time getting back on track with the homeschool thing. I mean, I am a smart woman and I am quite capable... But goodness gracious, it's HARD work trying to hold down the fort these days. 6 kids, all needing different things... We are in the process of changing things up a bit. I'll post more about that after I get my act together. Your prayers and any advice would be much appreciated.

I finally had some time to myself this afternoon. I went through a really weird "phase" when we got back from China. I had prepared myself for so many months for the worst case senario with our 2 girls, that I was in a bit of a quandry when things were going so eerily well for us. I have been on autopilot for weeks... enjoying my new girls, but feeling very unworthy and fearful for some strange reason. I have thanked the Lord over and over for His goodness towards us but I could not quite bring myself to get back into the swing of my quiet times with Him... Until I reached my breaking point today... And then it was just sooooo good to sit at His feet again. What was I thinking, trying to do everything on my own??? I need Him!!! It was so good... I sat out on my back porch and finished up Hosea... Great reflection & application.

In the midst of all this wonderfulness, things have been really up and down with our oldest son, Alex. He is a complex child for sure... Has been giving us a run for our money since he was 18 months old. STRONG WILLED to the core... He is just the most amazing kid. We have known since he was very young that God had special plans for his life. He has made him this way for a purpose. We trust that what God began in him, He will complete... But the day-to-day with this young man of ours can be quite draining. We are getting counsel from a couple at our church... All I can say is, parenting teens these days is not for the faint of heart. We are in a full-fledged battle against the enemy for our children's hearts. They face so much pressure that didn't exist when we were kids. And if you think you're immuned to it because you are a God-loving, God-fearing, homeschooling family... You can just think again. There are no guarantees. Even some of the most Godly families have wayward children. One thing I know for sure, it has served to keep me humble. When things are going really well for me I have the tendency to think it's because I've done something right. Yes, I always give credit to the Lord and realize that without Him, I'd be nothing. But, when things are not going my way, it keeps me right where I need to be... ON MY KNEES.

The Lord is going to teach me more about His power through these circumstances and I will shout from my mountain top just how faithful and true He is NO MATTER THE OUTCOME. Because God is good, all the time. And He is for me, so who can be against me?

My word for the year is...

BELIEVE

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:20-21

This is the verse I have claimed for the year. I am believing my God for big things this year.

What is your word?

As far as our transition from a family of 6 to a family of 8? All I can say is, to God be the glory... GREAT things he has done! We are still having a blast with our girls. Ashlyn is like a little gift that we are slowly unwrapping, one little corner at a time. It will be months before we can communicate effectively with her, but we see glimpses every day of who she is and where she has come from. She was in a great institution, from what I can tell. She went to church and she was loved. She knows the children's song, "I'm In The Lord's Army"! She sings it in Chinese, of course, but how crazy is that? She says "Amen" after we pray and she loves praise and worship at church. She is the most lovable girl. She is just such a delight to be around. She LOVES her siblings... ALL OF THEM. She is so great with Abby and Averleigh. She and Ansley are best buds. Aidan is really working hard to overcome his lack of self-control so that she won't get irritated with him:) Tonight he was excited because she let him help her put her puzzle together. Most of the time he pesters her like he does the rest of his siblings and she will yell, "Aidan, no!" In a jokingly kind of way:) She and Alex have a blast together. He tries teaching her new words and they laugh and laugh. She repeats almost everything we say and her English is really coming along amazingly well! She loves her mom and dad equally well and I LOVE that she is affectionate. I tell her I love her all the time and today I asked her if she loved me too. She smiled and nodded her head yes:) She will sometimes sit very close to me and lay her head on my shoulder at Alex's ball games. Tonight she took my hand and measured her palm against mine and laughed that her hands are just about the same size. She loves to give group hugs...
Abby is still blossoming too. I was watching our Gotcha video of her tonight. I will post it once I get it uploaded to Yout*be. She has changed SO much. She gives kisses all the time now and she smiles and laughs and loves... She is still pretty quiet, but she is trying to say a few words now. She is a tender hearted little girl and she adores her siblings. I think she especially loves Ashlyn and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual. Ashlyn carries her around quite a bit. They have a very special bond.

Ansley said to me yesterday, "Mom, ever since Ashlyn came into our family I feel like Alex and I are closer." This was music to my ears... I could not think of a better outcome.

I do feel like a huge gap has been filled up in our home. These girls have brought more joy to our lives that I ever imagined.

We are living proof that older child adoption and special need adoptions can go amazingly well.

Matt & I went out on a date the other night:) We saw, "Somewhere Between", the Chinese adoption documentary that's making the rounds in certain theaters. It was really well done and quite the tear jerker... Really got me thinking about the bio parents of my girls. My heart will forever be connected to theirs and I will always wonder if they wonder about their precious babies they gave away...

More to come...

Blessings,
Rebecca