I'm Back!

Sorry (Jo) for the long delay:) I want to post more, I just never seem to find the time. I always have blog posts running through my brain...

We are starting to feel some peace in our home. Ashlyn & Abby are still doing better than we ever imagined. I am in awe of the courage they possess and extremely thankful God gave us 2 girls at the same time. I know it has made things easier for both of our new daughters to have someone that they can share the experience with. I can't explain it, but it just really helps them both.

I want to touch on something that has been baffling me for a while now... Institutional behaviors and the lack-thereof. These 2 words really scared us in the beginning of our journey. Lying, stealing, cheating, hoarding, manipulating, triangulating, self-stimming, night terrors, and so on...
I was fully expecting at least a few of them to be evident with our girls, but I tell ya... I have yet to see even ONE! Now, that's not to say that it won't ever happen, but we've been home for 3 months now and our girls are free of any obvious "institutional behaviors". Glory be to God...

Ashlyn has taken on her new life with the best attitude. She tells me that what she misses the most about China is her "family". I asked her about that and I'm still not 100% sure of the set-up in her institution, but she tells me she had "brothers and sisters". Although, she was not in a foster home, she had an "aunt" and it seems to me that this aunt was a big part of her life. It appears that her institution was on the smaller side. I asked her if she wanted a family and if the older children got families very often and she said yes to both questions. I showed her the yahoo group of families who've adopted from her institution and she recognized the great majority of the children on there. It was a bittersweet moment with her. She was happy to see them and all of the pictures of where she used to live, but I think it made her homesick too. We talked about going back to China one day and I mentioned that maybe for her 18th birthday we could go. She was very happy about that. I ask her if she misses China and she says yes, but she rarely ever shows it. I told her that I miss it for her and that it is just fine to miss China. We have had some really enlightening conversations. I always knew that she had been abandoned on the steps of the orphanage at age 3, but I assumed that she had been with her bio family until that point. I was wrong. She told me that when she was born, her mom threw her away and she was found by some people who raised her until the age of 3. She remembers them and says they treated her well. She also remembers the name they gave to her... I asked her if she was treated well in her institution and she said yes. I believe it.
We try to keep her busy doing things that will improve her English skills and give her a stable foundation with her new family. We are all home together alot, but she has made a best friend that she sees at least 2 times per week. We go to church on Wednesday nights for AWANA where she volunteers with her BFF (Peyton) in Abby & Averleigh's class and we attend Sunday morning worship together as a family and then go back Sunday nights for youth group. She is doing amazing. She loves the worship music & she joins in with the girls confidently. It's incredible. She be-bops around our church like she's always been there, as well as at her grandparents homes. She takes pride and ownership of belonging to a family. It's precious.
She and Ansley have their moments of conflict, but it's not very often. I love that when it happens, it's usually over something ridiculous and we can work it out. As I type this, they are in my room "exercizing" and laughing hysterically. Music to my ears... considering that just last night Ashlyn was ready to move out of their bedroom and into Abby & Av's over another silly bra mix-up. By the end of the evening they were making cookies together and massaging my feet and hands and having a "girls night out" on the sofa bed with a movie.

Abby is simply Abby... smart as a whip and cute as a button. She still has issues with Matt from time to time. When he enforces his dominance over her, it upsets her and she cries. It happens sometimes if he's the one to put her on the potty or help her brush her teeth, or even today when he was trying to get her to drink more water because she was hot from playing outside. He is wild and crazy and she just doesn't always know how to take him. This has been our BIGGEST source of contention. I was hoping that this adoption would bring out the calm & gentile side of my husband... so far, it has not. He's a bull in a China shop and uncomfortable situations (like bonding with 2 new daughters) make him even more goofy. He is a very loving father and extremly involved and tenderhearted. He's totally intentional and a wonderful role model... he just lacks tact. He wrestles our kids to the floor and makes them cry almost daily... the boys LOVE it. The girls... well let's just say that I have nixed that one. So adding 2 more girls to the flock has been challenging for him in the sense that he adores them both, and is just looking for ways to bond with them, but he's challenged at doing it in ways that they respond positively to. Even Ashlyn will look at him when he's speaking to her in Spanish (no, he's not) and say, "What? I don't know..." He's sarcastic and people of other cultures and languages don't get it. I am such an empathetic person that this makes me sick to my stomach at times and we have had some arguments over it. BUT, praise God, we are all starting to get to a place of understanding and normalcy.

I am thankful that the new is starting to wear off and we are all able to let our guards down a little more.

So many good things going on in our home...

I'll wrap up with some pictures:

Peyton & Ashlyn making crafts out of the grass and sticks while watching Alex at his track meet.

A sweet letter from Ashlyn.

Shopping and lunch at Target:) Hooray for the little pizzas!

We are so proud of Alex. Although this has been a challenging year for him, we believe God is honoring our obedience. He was awarded the "Most Outstanding Athlete" for middle school basketball.

It's that time of year again: BASEBALL! A-Dog is doing amazingly well pitching for the very first time. He received the first game ball of the season for getting a double play:) He's a little natural... not sure where our boys got their athletic abilities:)

Alex is also having fun running track for the first time. He's come in 1st place several times.



My sweet Littles having fun with sidewalk chalk at Aidan's baseball game...

...And loving hopscotch! Go Abby, go!

What homeschoolers really do all day:)

And last but not least... homemade Chinese Congee:) YUM!

So that's it for now...

Thanks for the prayers y'all... please don't stop!

Blessings,
Rebecca